Bag Self-Care! Try this instead……….

Today I had a notion.

A crazy thought. And after thinking the thought over and over – something clicked and made sense.

Why is it so hard for so many women to focus on taking care of themselves?

Why is it so important to us and at the same time we don’t follow through on our promises to ourselves?

Why is it that we are constantly reminded throughout the day – especially when we DON’T drink those x# glasses of water, or get to that yoga class, or take our favorite walk or that loved hot lavender bath – and we keep repeating the self denial patterns?

Why do the most brilliant accomplished women struggle with this in the same way other women do?

It’s a universal pattern and it continues to amaze me.

I’ve been writing about self care for years, have sat in many a circle with women and discussed it, have preached about it and taught it in nursing and healing groups, coached clients around it, have listened to elders and wise women’s musings around it, and have had personal wins and challenges with it.

And today I shifted – about this whole idea.

I changed my perspective entirely and a whole world opened up in my consciousness.

I decided we have to stop spending so much time concerning ourselves with our self care (notice I said ‘concerning’ not practicing) and what we need to do is to CARE FOR EACH OTHER.

Especially women.

When a women friend, colleague, or family member is in greatest need of her own self care, it is usually the most difficult time for her to give to herself.

And what people usually say to her is "take care of yourself", "take time for yourself", "be good to yourself" – and really, all that is doing, is reminding her of what she is not doing because she is consumed with her grief, fear, challenge, or circumstance, and it makes her feel so much worse.

It is at this time we need to extend our reach.

This is a time for us to care for her the way we wish someone would care for us when we are down for the count.

This is the time that is critical to not feed into her already bad feelings about not being able to practice her self care, and just offer comfort, a listening ear, a healing touch, a nurturing hug – to validate who she is and acknowledge her in her ‘lack of practicing self care’.

Reach out to her and don’t ask what you can do, just do it.

Everyone needs nurturing, understanding, unconditional love, and acceptance. Especially the wounded woman who cares for everyone else all the time and puts herself last.

When she is cared for by others, her care for herself will automatically RISE.

Tags: acceptance, healing touch, nurturing, self care